Make a Wish Kir...

Spoiler Alert: GOOD NEWS!  

The ups and downs of the past 6 weeks makes for weary women.  I continue to be amazed at the strength and determination of my "ginnywyf'.  At 3:30 pm on Tuesday (3/24) Gin called to say that the radiation Docs were concerned about major edema in Gin's legs.

Before I go on, I need to remind you that Ginny had a new stent replaced Monday morning to open up her right ureter and get her kidney function back on track.

Okay back to the edema.  So Docs wanted to be sure the swelling was just fluid and not caused by a clot and clinic CT scans were backed up so they sent her to St. Mary's ER.  Yup - GROAN.  

Finally at 10:30 pm Gin finally had her scan and the ALL CLEAR - thank God.  After assessing the weather, we opted to stay in Roch for the night at got to our appointments this morning.

Okay here is the "make a wish"part.  This birthday girl is screaming WOO HOO from the rooftops.  SURPRISE - the BASTARD TUMOR is SHRINKING!  So much so that the radiation team had to recalibrate systems and develop a new radiation plan for Gin today.

6 more treatments and then we sit back and enjoy a SERIOUS radiation and chemo holiday.  This is the most hopeful news we have had throughout our 5 years of tackling this tumor.  There is surprise at the level of shrinkage and the team anticipates more.

So this exhausted and giddy birthday girl is walking in gratitude this afternoon.  Grateful for gin and her sheer will to WIN.  Grateful for a brilliant medical team.  Grateful for super pals for helping with transport, dog sitting and covering work hours lost.  Grateful for prayer and encouragement of the masses (that's you peeps).  Grateful-Grateful-Grateful.

kir

Everyone is happy that we are home...

Quite a Ride

Okay before you read, KNOW that we are home and Gin is amazingly well.

At three o'clock yesterday afternoon (Friday) Gin called from Rochester to say that she had completed her radiation and was in her car (she drove herself...grrrrr).  She was experiencing significant abdominal pain and was letting me know that she was going to go to friend Libby's house to sleep some and ride out the "episode".   We "discussed" my coming to get her and she won.

The ugly thing about all this is that there are a few major things that we/she doesn't have control over...so who can blame the independent and determined Gin for wanting to take a little time and then finish the task of going and returning on her own from treatment.

At four she called back, "it's an obstruction, can you come and take me to the ER?".  The challenge was the 50 minute drive between us.  I instructed her to have Libby take her to the ER at St. Mary's and I would meet her there.

Quite frankly, obstructions scare me more than the Cancer.  Gin's innards are riddled with scar tissue.  A stubborn obstruction could result in life threatening surgery.

I arrived at the ER at 4:40 (oops) and Libby and Gin were in triage.  The ER "experience" began.
The ct scan was completed at 7:30, the results at 8:45 and the surgical consult at 9:40.

Findings?

1) Ginny did not have a "true" obstruction BUT several sections of her bowel are super narrow due to her current and previous treatments and her system was stopped.

2) The stent that Ginny has had placed in her right ureter to keep the bastard tumor from interfering with her right kidney function was "clogged".

Solutions?

1) Monday (3/30) Gin is already scheduled to have a new stent put in.  Her kidney will be fine so we will solve that problem Monday morning.

2) The pseudo obstruction resulted in being admitted to St. Mary's, the insertion of an NG tube and contrast being introduced to her digestive system in an effort to get things moving.

The good news...all systems are a go!

The afterthoughts for Kir?  
On one hand, this "ride" is scary, unpredictable, frustrating and painful.  On the other it is full of grace, wonder, faith and in its own way beauty.  Yep I said beauty.  We had several tender moments  over the past 24 hours.

This battle - this living with cancer is ugly in so many ways but there is something more in it all.  Maybe it is because I have walked this road before with loved ones and am not afraid of journey.

The beauty of the past hours has been in Ginny, in her courage and her spirit.  It is in her resolve to make an imprint on everyone she encounters regardless of how miserable she feels.  It is in the reminiscing of moments shared and trips taken during the hours and hours of waiting.  And it is in the celebrating over horrible hospital coffee that we were headed for home later in the day.

Post Script:

Gin had several "suggestions" for staff about improvements they might consider.  The first and most concerning being the toilet that flushed for 15 seconds using GALLONS of water.  Her second suggestion was the placement of furniture and the "art".

In an effort to meet her desire to admire art hung outside her view I brought the art to her as we waited to be "set free".

Art Appreciation 101

I look at this "on our way home" selfie and shake my head.  I hate this roller coaster ride but with each rise and fall we love more, learn more, live more.

love
kir

Those of you receiving our blog via email push.  Visit http://justkirjustgin.blogspot.com to see the pics.

An Update and A Little Honesty

Treatment number 15 today.  10 more to go.  As I type sweet Gin is in our bed.  The side effects have been a challenge.  I am not sure she would agree (always looking for the bright-side) but I know the radiation is taking its toll.  We are declaring an official countdown for these final 10 and hoping that the "yuckies" do not get worse.  Gin is coping but I/we would hate to see the side effects increase.  Is hard to watch and there isn't a whole lot I can do to help.   The upside - if the Doc is right, the side effects and challenges Gin is experiencing are an indication that the radiation is indeed doing something.  Of course that is speculation at this point, it will be weeks before we know what did and did not happen.  After the treatments end, we will wait several weeks for her to heal and then there will be tests to see the results.

Next Wednesday, March 25th, we will have a meeting with her primary Oncologist to talk about  life after radiation and the options.

We continue to ask for prayer, positive thoughts and energy.  As before, we pray for Gin's stamina. In addition we pray for her "systems" to calm down and work despite the fact that they are being assaulted daily.

At this point Gin is instructing me to tell you all that she is still cheerful!

Over the years Gin and I have talked a lot about the "battle" language used but those living and dying with cancer.  Gin has always resisted describing her life with cancer as a battle...until today.  There have been several moments over the past weeks where Gin has expressed herself in new ways...I am hearing foreign words.  Fight - Battle - Losing.  We are at war - Gin is fighting - some days we feel like we are losing.   Wow - now there is some truth.  I hesitate to write it.  If we confess that we are worried perhaps people will think we are giving up.  WE ARE NOT!  Dukes are up.  But there is a sense of relief in being able to say it...write it.  We are worried.  We are preparing for what is coming.  We are hopeful and at the same time operating in a realm of reality.  Sigh.

So pray people...pray.

This photo was taken in November 2009 - we were in Italy.  Our first trip abroad together.  Gin felt poorly towards the end of the trip.  She saw her Doc once home - it was the return of her Cancer (first diagnosed in 1998).  It has been an amazing run.  5 years of treatment and "putting up with it".  This wife wants more time with her "ginny wyf".  More moments...more trips...more stories...more love.

8 down 17 to go...

8 treatments done.  It has been a challenging 3 weeks for the Lindbloom-Larsens.  Friday was day 8 of 25 for Gin.  She is scheduled weekdays throughout the month of March.  We will celebrate the "final" treatment for this round on March 31st.  Overall things are going well.  Gin has been a champ, dukes are up.  That being said, the treatment is beginning to show itself in side effects.  Immediately following treatment Gin feels quite "poorly".  We are glad that her radiation is scheduled in the afternoon.  This gives Ginny her mornings to do what she needs to accomplish.  Our prayer for Gin is simple - stamina.  She is beginning to feel the fatigue of treatment and yesterday experienced her first bout of nausea.  

We had some questions about the last pic I posted, so here is another look with some more specific markings.  A family member suggested making a "voodoo" tumor to stab after each treatment.  A great idea :)

From the care taking/support side of things I am holding up okay.  My work schedule and other life happenings have added to the general stress of life.  That being said, we are committed to living our best life together as we walk this part of the journey.  We are so grateful for family and friends.  We covet good thoughts, positive energy and prayer.

huzzahs all around

yesterday ginny made the trek to the mayo clinic for a ct scan.  this morning we learned that the cancer is still growing, but is still in super slow mode.  the hormone treatment is doing its job.  we will return to mayo in 3 months to take another look.  ginny is feeling great and looks fabulous.  two years ago the doctor said that the worst case scenario was 18 months and the best case scenario was 3 years.  we are defying the odds.

belated final thoughts

after a jam-packed 9 days we started the journey home. we left lisbon early (7:00 am flight) for amsterdam.  i have been in that airport many many times but have never visited the city.  the travel rule (my own rule) states that one's presence in an airport does not count as a true visit to a country.  so we booked a flight with a 26 hour lay over so that this girl could add the netherlands to the list.

we arrived in amsterdam at noon.  we made a quick stop at the hotel, checked-in and then made our way to the train station. a short trip (20 mins or so) into the city.

a climate change from balmy spain and portugal...brrrrrrrrrrrrr

before arriving in the city i told gin that i wanted to leave amsterdam wanting more...at first glance this goal was met...more please...i want some more (good thing i will be back in february)...

our first stop was the anne frank house.  i have longed to visit this place for many years.  in 1996, i had a role in a production of the diary of anne frank at riverland community college.  over the years i have read a plethora of books, watched dozens of hours of holocaust related television and film.  my grandfather was a prisoner of war and spent time in a camp, although not a death camp, the fascination has been long standing.

we entered the office building and i began to shmeep...we made our way up to the second floor offices...and then to the back room where we discovered the book case and the hidden door.

there is a large step up and the opening was smaller than most.  i had to twist as i stepped up...then down a small narrow hall to mr. and mrs. frank's bedroom.  the annex is empty, no furniture remains.  otto frank asked that it be this way.  in each room there are photos of the space as it was.  anne's room was next...the photos and postcards she had glued to the walls are still there...

the wc is also on this floor...i stood in front of the bathroom sink...put my hands on the taps...this room would have been the only solitude for them...i think of mrs. frank trying to escape the sounds of mrs. van pels (van daan). 

the second floor of the annex holds the living room/kitchen and the ladder to peter's room in the attic space...i found myself standing at the kitchen sink...hands on the stone counter...even though there were dozens of people there with us...wall to wall people...in this moment i felt like i was alone...tears again...

we left the house and entered an exhibit in the next building.  so well done. were were able to read excerpts from the book, watch video clips of otto frank and view paper documentation of the franks and van pels,  the destination for each, and their lives/deaths after being discovered in the annex. 

a stop in the gift shop resulted in a new copy of the book...am eager to read the diary again after our visit.

we left the anne frank house and made our way to the van gogh museum  for a quick visit.  I have enjoyed visiting museums dedicated to the work of one.  the matisse and chagall museums in nice made an impact and since that time we have seen the picasso museum in barcelona.  

i find it interesting to be able to look at the life of the artist, to see the evolution of their work and to get the whole story.  van gogh was a nut...woke up one morning and decided to be an artist.  no experience....no skill necessarily...self taught...and completely crazy.

two of our favorite pieces in the museum were the potato eaters (one of his earlier and not so great works) and then the almond blossom piece.  we did see more famous pieces like sunflowers...but these were most memorable...

a short cab ride brought us back to the train station area...a walk through the neighborhood...colorful?souvenir shops...sex shops...and seeds for the gardener...gin declined :)

our afternoon in amsterdam came to an end with dinner at a dutch restaurant near the train station...a wonderful meal and a chance for us to reminisce a little...what an amazing 10 days...

kir&gin (portugal, spain & amsterdam 2011)

here's to more time for kung foo fighting

three months has gone by quickly once again.  today we went to mayo to get the results of gin's ct scan and blood work.  the lungs are stable (no growth), blood count is flat (good) but the tumor on the move at our last check up is still growing.  that is the not so good news. the better news is that is it growing slowly.  in an effort to trip the cancer up, the good dr. p has prescribed a different hormone (in the same family as the dose gin has been taking for 10 months).  we will go back to mayo in 2-3 months to see if the new drug helps and to get another look at the growth.  the great news is NO CHEMO at this point.

i did ask about the "marker" for growth. what is the magic number for tumor size before needing chemo?  dr. p is more concerned about the speed of growth...less about the size...

on the home front, life is good. we visited family in baltimore last weekend (gin's brother larry's family)...a great time.  we are gearing up for our next adventure. over thanksgiving (11/18-11/28) we will be traveling to barcelona and then to lisbon.  gin has been to spain but portugal is new territory. stay tuned for for the sights. we will try to blog each day of the trip...

the pics are from a visit to fossil park in rockford iowa a few weeks ago...she looks good doesn't she?

kir & gin

here we go....

i am hanging out on the balcony of our hotel (sitting under the "hotel" sign...wonder if this thing will flash and if so will it do it all night long)…am watching traffic and people go by…the sun is pushing through the clouds and the temp is great…gin is asleep…a long night…she really is an amazing traveller…she looks great!

we arrived about 7:30 am after a great flight…flew by (hee hee) and caught the train to paris…after finding our hotel and dropping off our luggage we ventured out in search of the longed for café crème and a baguette…oh how i love baguettes…mission accomplished…my tummy is very happy…

after eating we decided to roam the neighborhood and visit a few of our favorite spots…nothing too crazy on day one…the craziness will begin tomorrow I believe J…

we are staying in the latin quarter….2 star hotel…nothing amazing…but the location rocks…friend kristen has directed us to a favorite place for dinner tonight (gyros) and it would not be a day for kir & gin in paris without a crepe at the end of the night…

one happy ginny!

peace joy and love...love love love

it has been weeks since we last posted. to be honest we have been enjoying not having much to post.  this blog served a great purpose in the intensity of the spring and summer, updating people about ginny's illness and our coping household. ginny's cancer is still hibernating.  she feels good and i have to say she is looking great and her energy is increasing.  i am smitten with her new soft curly hair...adorable.

we have had a wonderful fall, with the energy and excitement of renovating and now the pleasure in living in a finished space.  christmas is on its way and we are have already hosted 2 christmas parties in the new space. it holds up well.  at one point had over 60 people standing and sitting in our living room/dining room/kitchen.

ginny and i will be spending our first christmas together...i know that that must seem strange...but the call of jayme & dustin (our niece and nephew) has taken me to british columbia the past two years...they still call, but will wait until after christmas to see auntie kirsten...

to celebrate our first christmas spent together, we bought a tree...a big one...and we have hung up our stockings (gotta have stockings).  ginny's brother dan will be with us and her sweet mother too.

and our Minnesota winter has arrived...

we spent much of this morning digging out...first BIG storm of the year left us with much to move...lots of snow...but beautiful...so beautiful (that is the canadian in me i think)... and we took advantage of the bright sun and snow and took a few pics...

 i am a big kid...

peace...joy...and BIG love....
ginny and kir

goose down

my beautiful ginny...