An Update and A Little Honesty

Treatment number 15 today.  10 more to go.  As I type sweet Gin is in our bed.  The side effects have been a challenge.  I am not sure she would agree (always looking for the bright-side) but I know the radiation is taking its toll.  We are declaring an official countdown for these final 10 and hoping that the "yuckies" do not get worse.  Gin is coping but I/we would hate to see the side effects increase.  Is hard to watch and there isn't a whole lot I can do to help.   The upside - if the Doc is right, the side effects and challenges Gin is experiencing are an indication that the radiation is indeed doing something.  Of course that is speculation at this point, it will be weeks before we know what did and did not happen.  After the treatments end, we will wait several weeks for her to heal and then there will be tests to see the results.

Next Wednesday, March 25th, we will have a meeting with her primary Oncologist to talk about  life after radiation and the options.

We continue to ask for prayer, positive thoughts and energy.  As before, we pray for Gin's stamina. In addition we pray for her "systems" to calm down and work despite the fact that they are being assaulted daily.

At this point Gin is instructing me to tell you all that she is still cheerful!

Over the years Gin and I have talked a lot about the "battle" language used but those living and dying with cancer.  Gin has always resisted describing her life with cancer as a battle...until today.  There have been several moments over the past weeks where Gin has expressed herself in new ways...I am hearing foreign words.  Fight - Battle - Losing.  We are at war - Gin is fighting - some days we feel like we are losing.   Wow - now there is some truth.  I hesitate to write it.  If we confess that we are worried perhaps people will think we are giving up.  WE ARE NOT!  Dukes are up.  But there is a sense of relief in being able to say it...write it.  We are worried.  We are preparing for what is coming.  We are hopeful and at the same time operating in a realm of reality.  Sigh.

So pray people...pray.

This photo was taken in November 2009 - we were in Italy.  Our first trip abroad together.  Gin felt poorly towards the end of the trip.  She saw her Doc once home - it was the return of her Cancer (first diagnosed in 1998).  It has been an amazing run.  5 years of treatment and "putting up with it".  This wife wants more time with her "ginny wyf".  More moments...more trips...more stories...more love.