cancer...this whole thing is like a bad carnival ride

I hate rides that spin around...heck, even the frickin' tilt o whirl makes me sick...today, I felt like we were riding the tilt o whirl and I am still feeling sick to my stomach...

the news (once thought to be good) is not so good...we sat with surgeons, an oncologist and consulted with a radiologist today...the good news is that the cancer is only in the pelvis/colon...the two masses are in proximity and the docs are treating them as if they are one...there is a tumor in the colon and next to it is a cancer filled lymph node...the other "suspicious" lymph node, thought to be "hot" is actually not so hot and is not a concern...

the plan yesterday was to have the masses removed surgically and to follow up with chemo to "clean things up"...today we were told that surgery is not possible...there is too much scar tissue and damage from ginny's previous procedures and radiation...I should rephrase this... it is not impossible to go in and get the tumor, BUT this surgery would put ginny at great risk and in their collective opinion...it is far too risky...

SO we went back up to our oncologist who, in consultation with radiology, has suggested that we do chemo first and in the mean time they will see if ginny would be a candidate for radiation after chemo...it was in this discussion that my stomach began to turn...the "do not worry, this is treatable" may not necessarily apply any more...I asked new questions today and the answers, given the loss of the surgery option, had changed. Ginny has advanced cancer...it is very serious. This chemo treatment NEEDS to work...if not we are in trouble...I asked about best case scenarios...best case, the chemo works and she goes back into remission...the doc was very clear that remission next time will be much shorter (a year or two) and then we will fight again...so we are digging in our heels and preparing for a long haul...ginny begins chemo on February 10th...this will be the first of 6 treatments, each three weeks apart...she will be having treatment here in austin...I have cancelled my work trips over the next couple of weeks...we are still traveling this weekend to Baltimore to see ginny's brother larry...we will return monday and start treatment wednesday the 10th...we are so thankful for our friends and family...thank you for your support in the past days...we are grateful for the prayer and promise to take people up on their offers to help out...

kirsten and ginny