Happy Birthday Virginia

We had an AMAZING day. 

I asked the Birthday Gal to do some writing for the Celebration Blog!

Ginny:

Yes, my 80th was the best birthday ever.   It began two days early with a Saturday afternoon open-house reception at the Austin ArtWorks Center, organized by my spouse Kirsten, the quintessential event-planner, and attended, we think, by about a hundred people (fortunately, not all at once).  The table, with 200 mini cupcakes in four flavors, and the decorations were perfect.   I felt physically the best I've felt in a year, painfree and spunky, thanks to some recent procedures at the Mayo Clinic and the prayers of many.  

Austin ArtWorks Center was a PERFECT location. 

The current exhibition was art done by area children.

CUPCAKES

My brother Dan flew up from Roanoke, VA, brother John and wife Deb flew over from near Boise, ID, niece Maren flew here from Baltimore, one friend flew up from Tampa/St.Petersburg, FL, another from Fort Collins, CO, and others drove here from the Cities, Mankato, Owatonna and, yes, Blooming Prairie!  

Kir and Dan

John and Deb

Friend Rose from Florida

Andrea from Colorado

There were email good wishes from friends in Germany, Denmark, Italy, Russia and Japan and from friends in different parts of the US.  The majority, of course, live in Austin and represent different aspects of my current and former life. What a panorama, I thought, as I looked around and identified the contexts and time periods associated with each person there.  

Champagne and toasts at 2:00.  Kirsten gave a lovely tribute, followed by dear friend Jocelyn and my brother Dan and Rochester friend Libby, with whom I did dog-sharing for 22 years, and then it was my turn.  I said I was glad to be alive for this event.  Usually, a person has to die before this many people gather in one place and say nice things about him or her. 

Kir's Toast

When we began our journey together in 2006, you said that you would not reach 80.  “I don’t want to get that old”. When the cancer returned you were convinced that that prediction would be true.  Well…you were wrong and I am glad. I know that I only represent the last 10 of these 80 years, but I like to think that I am part of some of the best of those years.  One of my greatest “lovelights” over these years is a culmination of travel memories.  We explored 17 countries together in the past decade.  SO many clear “snapshots” in my mind…the three-toed sloth that peed on you in the Amazon, café au late and crepes in the streets of Paris, gatherings with good friends and great food in Germany, the flooded streets of Venice and with you traveling piggyback, the sound of the water hitting the Nice shoreline under the night sky and the reflection of the city lights and experiencing the enchanting call to prayer our first morning in Istanbul together.  There are so many things about our life together that I cherish. These years will be ones that I look back on with such joy and such love. Thank you for loving me so well and for allowing me to love you. Here’s to my beautiful, charming, quirky, tender-hearted, generous, reptile loving 3^rd grade joke telling wife.  With a love that knows no bounds…Happy Birthday Sweet Ginny.

 Wyf 

 Cheers to his Sister (Dan)

Virginia and Libby

 Gal pals - Kir, Jocelyn and Gin

 Cheers

The bonus: Eszter Baràti, a cellist with the Budapest Symphony in Hungary and here for a limited time with her husband, brought her cello and asked if she could "play Virginia a birthday gift", whereupon she sat down, took up her instrument and played a hauntingly beautiful piece by Bach. 

It was March birthday Sunday after church (First Congregational) the next day...with turtle cheesecake, a big sheetcake and fruit.  On Monday, my very birthday, I went to a funeral.  More cake.  And finally, Kirsten and I opened all the cards made a list of birthday donations to the ArtWorks Center and the Mower County Humane Society.  I unwrapped some gifts and photographed the floating balloons and bouquets, which were making the house look ready for yet another party.

Now, nearly two weeks after my three-day birthday, I am still smiling.  I am content.  Still feeling the best in a year.  Comfortable in my new age and, most important of all, grateful for my family and my friends.  

 Greeting Friends

Gin's niece Maren and friend Brady.

 Friend and former student Teresa

 Kelly and Toni love the "Gin Blossom"

There were 238 photos taken during the day.  Wish we could share them all.  Such a great day, "love lights" galore.

Kir:

It was a lovely day and Ginny was thrilled as you have read.  From a medical standpoint, Ginny is doing amazingly well.  The removal of the stent and the insertion of the nephrostomy tube in the right kidney has been a game changer.  We did not realize how much of the pain and discomfort was stent, bladder and kidney related.  She has declared that she has not felt this good in months and months and months. This has been so good to hear.  She is still receiving pain meds via the pain pump but has not taken an oral pain med to augment the pump in 5 weeks.  This is truly amazing and is an indication that something is changing. Our Oncologist is hopeful that it is a response to the chemo.  Ginny will have a CT scan April 13th to take a look.  We are looking forward to getting a look!

The daily challenges are still indeed challenges but Ginny rolls with it and I continue to be amazed at her cheerfulness in all this.  She is an example of courage each day.

There is much laughter and straight up joy at home these days.  I have adjusted to my new work (or lack of work during the day) schedule and we are taking advantage of the time together.  Morning coffee continues to be sacred time.  We are talking about travel again and have booked a week-long vacation in Northern Minnesota on Lake Superior in July.  

I am writing from sunny California this morning.  Ginny encouraged me to plan a get-a-way with my sister and her family and friend Sue (she came to us for Christmas this past year).  I have hesitated to plan such travel with all going on, but Gin pushed me out the door.  I am very grateful and her feeling better made leaving a little bit easier.  Word from home is good and Ginny is having visits daily from a close friend who is making the daily dressing changes to that new neph tube.

Here is a pic from Disney.  Dustin and Jayme and I are the screamers.  Erika and Chris are pretty chill.

Love

Kir & Gin

30 Lashes with a Wet Noodle

My "funny" and charming father would write notes excusing me from school or explaining an absence with ridiculous "please forgive her" instructions like, "please forgive Kirsten's behavior and feel free to administer 30 lashes with a wet noodle as punishment."  You can imagine how that went over with a 15-year-old Kirsten who had to present such a note to her teacher or principal.

Anyway, I am feeling like I am in need of forgiveness for leaving you all hanging so long without a post.

UPDATE:

It has been an interesting month.  Since I last posted, Ginny made the decision to more aggressively address her urinary system challenges.  This decision was almost made for her as her right ureter has been unhappy for months and the presence of a stent there has become more and more difficult for Ginny's body to tolerate (painful and increasing bleeding).  The solution suggested and ultimately completed, was the removal of the stent and the insertion of a nephrostomy tube (a direct line and drainage system in Ginny's right kidney).  This supports the kidney and the ureter is now free to rest. As reminder - the stent was placed initially because the "bastard tumor" has formed around the right ureter and the stent kept it open.  The nephrostomy procedure was complete Monday March 6th.   She spent the night at Mayo and is now home.

Sooooo this is a lifestyle change for her.  Although small, it will require daily attention from nurse Kirsten :)

For those of you who are curious...

The tube actually comes out of her back so she is unable to do the site maintenance on her own.  Some of you are asking yourselves how can she possibly sit or sleep?  Well, as is her wonder woman way, just fine.  She slept on her back last night.

On another note, Gin is experiencing less pain and discomfort in her other "disposal" system.  It seems the pain pump is doing a good job of controlling the pain there.  Gin has not needed oral meds to supplement the pump in over two weeks.  She wonders if the tumor is shrinking as a result of this "wicked" chemo - MAY IT BE SO!

THE GOOD STUFF...

On Saturday March 11th we are celebrating Ginny's 80th Birthday.  I know, I know...80?  Yup, our Gin has aged well :)

Those of you who are local, feel free to join us.  Family and friends are flying in from all corners of the country and we are looking forward to celebrating my incredible wyf.

March 11th
1-4 pm
Toasting at 2 PM
Austin ArtWorks Center in Downtown Austin

She is asking that folks not bring gifts but she would enjoy a card.  For those who would like to do more, Ginny suggests donations to the Mower County Humane Society or the Austin ArtWorks Center.

I will post pics after the event, I PROMISE.

Love
Kir

A better week...

I realized this morning that it has been almost 12 days since I last posted.  In that time I finished up my work at AHS and have had one full week "at home".

It has been strange to not get up every morning and go to my REACH kids.  I am missing them very much.  On the other hand, I have enjoyed slow mornings with Gin.  I have loved getting back into the pool, a feel good for sure.

On the Gin front, things are okay.  She has had a good week.  She managed the days following chemo well.  There were a few side effects but she rolled with it.  Now that her stent is working better and her kidney is not blocked, the pain pump is working well.  She is managing her oral pain meds and her systems are working (they are still a challenge to manage of course).  She is out and about doing her thing.

Her next round of chemo is scheduled for Feb 15th.

Not a lot to share...Yay!

Love Kir

Dukes Up...

OUR LIFE UPDATE:
Over the past weeks Ginny has been working with Gal Pal Jocelyn to complete the manuscript for Ginny's latest writing project.  We are now working with Byron (Jocelyn's Husband) the artist on the illustrations for the book.  This is an exciting time for Gin as seeing this project complete is high on her "living list".  Stay tuned...we are expecting publication later in the spring.

OKAY DUKES UP...

    

On Monday Ginny went in for her 10th stent to keep her right ureter open and her right kidney functioning.  When they got in there, her kidney was in distress as the stent was clogged.  Once the old stent was removed and the new one placed her kidney danced the hokey pokey with relief.

She will not wait as long for her next replacement (2 months).

As part of the monday procedure, medical staff took a good look at her bladder from the inside to see if that tumor is indeed penetrating into the bladder.  Two biopsies were taken from two questionable areas.  We will get results at the end of this week.

Today we are in Rochester for Ginny's first round of Doxil cocktail, a chemo that she has not yet experienced.  There are many possible side effects with this one and we are hoping she tolerates it well.

As I sit here, watching her drift in and out of nap mode, I am acutely aware of how amazed I am by her strength.  She walks in such grace.  I am certain that I would not be so gracious if in her shoes.

One of the things we have been talking about is the legacy or the thing people will remember most about her.  She has taken this very seriously in the past couple of years.  She believes that it is her mission to create memorable meaningful moments with people, both those she knows as well as strangers.  Ginny seeks out opportunities each day to engage with others, to share cheer.

At a retreat this past weekend she was asked to identify a word to live by and to help her grow.  Her word?  SHINE.  This is not a surprise to those of us who know and love her, but having a word to focus on and to meditate on pleases her.  So our sweet Gin is stepping up her "shine".  Hang on world, this hilarious, quirky, intelligent, kind woman is on a roll and is determined to make as big an impact as she can creating  memorable bright moments.

Shine On :)
Kir

It Seems I Married Rocky Balboa

As promised in past posts we want to start with the good in life.  I will admit this is a little challenging this week, not so much going on by way rainbows and butterflies. I will say that these past weeks have been wonderful for us as a couple.  We are deeply bonded and the moments together are sweet and tender.  We are still finding time to play and tease.  There are lots of "I love yous" and lots of singing.  Yup singing.  I sing to Ginny at some point everyday.  The quality is debatable as often is it sheer silliness, but those silly songs are part of the cheer we are seeking in the moment to moment.

Gin is still her active self.  She is driving.  She is getting herself to her favorite weekly events.  She is taking the dogs to the park.  She is writing.  All of these things just take a little more time and planning.   Life is happening!

Before I get to the medical info, we wanted to share that I have decided to adjust my working schedule.  For the past two years I have been working almost two full time jobs.  I have been teaching for Riverland and St. Cloud Technical and Community College as well as working days at Austin High School with the REACH program.  REACH is a program I started with a colleague 3 years ago.

I truly love my work but I am tired. With all that has been happening with Gin, I can no longer keep up with the responsibility and pace of teaching and REACH.  Last week I resigned my position in REACH.  This has been a very difficult decision.  I have grieved this decision but know that it is what is best for me and Gin but more importantly for my kids in REACH.  They need consistent support and the unknowns of Gin's health and increased medical appointments made this difficult.  So, my last day is January 27th.  I will volunteer some time in the REACH classroom as I have made commitments to kids that I want to keep and I have applied for a sub license so I can help the team out when they need.


Now for the update.

1) The tumor has grown.  It is slow growth but it is growth.  So the "chemo pill" is not doing what we need it to do.

2) Ginny's pain pump has been adjusted so fingered crossed.

3) Gin is experiencing  more and more complications with her urinary system.  There are a couple explanations.  It could be stent related, with infection or it may be that the tumor is penetrating into the bladder.  Gin is having a new stent placed on January 23rd and at that time they will look at the lining of the bladder to confirm this.  The radiologist felt like this was a likely scenario given the placement of the tumor.  So we will see.  In the meantime, Gin will start antibiotics to address possible infection.

4) After all the info was presented, we began to look at the options.  There are two types of Chemo.  One that Gin has used before (not likely to do much) and one that is more aggressive (she turned this down before).  This is the Rocky Balboa part.  Gin has chosen the more aggressive chemo.  There are likely more side-effects and will be harder on her but it is something this bastard tumor has not seen before and maybe it will catch it off guard.  She is not willing to give up yet!  She will begin after the new stent is placed.  I expect Jan 25 or 26th.


Will update once we know more.


So as part of our LIVING we have started planning a 80th Birthday Party for Gin.  Gin is enjoying the planning of this and looks forward to visiting with friends and family.

March 11th  (1-4 pm)

Open House

Toasting at 2 pm

Austin ArtWorks Center

300 North Main Street

Austin, MN

No gifts please.  Donations can be made to the ArtWorks Center OR the Mower County Humane Society if desired.

Peace.
Kir